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You may be experiencing a range of emotions if your parent or another adult in your life is struggling with alcohol or other drugs. It’s not uncommon to be anxious, fearful, angry or resentful, so if you’re feeling this way, you’re not alone.
Here are some resources that others in this situation have found helpful and we hope you will too
Understanding the impact on you
Reading a book may not be the first thing that comes to mind but Recovery: A Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics by Herbert Gravitz and Julie D. Bowden, offers information on how a parent’s substance use can impact the way you see the world. The authors offer a pathway forward as they explore family secrets, fears, hopes and dreams.
Having easier conversations
Sometimes conversations about substance use can be difficult. Here are some ways you can talk to them about their substance use without it falling on deaf ears. Don’t forget that many conversations may be needed before they take any action. In addition, remaining calm and respectful can go a long way toward encouraging healthier behavior.
Finding and encouraging treatment
The National Institute on Drug Abuse provides a step-by-step guide for families and friends that you many find of use. In addition to including information on finding help, they discuss costs, privacy and support groups.
Allies in Recovery offers some great resources and worksheets on how to suggest treatment while attending to your own self-care and more.
Personal counseling may be helpful for your loved one and/or for you to deal with the emotional ups and downs you’re likely facing. Your insurance company or Psychology Today can offer counselors to work with you – just be sure they have training in addiction.
If you are seeking outpatient or inpatient programs for your parent try this treatment locator offering programs across the country. After using the search tool, you will still have to call the programs to make sure they are a good fit. Additionally, if your parent has other mental health issues, be sure any program you select treats both problems at the same time.
Moderating substance use
Some people may be willing to cut back on their substance use – even though your goal may differ. Although Moderation Management speaks primarily to alcohol the ideas they present can be applied to other substances.
Setting boundaries
Consider setting boundaries with your parent. For instance, not allowing alcohol and other drugs in your presence, and not giving them money or covering up for them may be rules you set. This blog post includes other ideas that may be of interest to you.
Support groups
There are a number of organizations that can provide you with peer support including:
Remember that it likely took quite a bit of time for these problems to develop and it may take time for the situation to improve. Be patient and be kind to yourself.